Relationship Infidelity: Why Men Cheat

While both men and women cheat on their partners, they tend to do it for many different reasons. Many women (and men) have thought “why do men cheat”. Sadly though, this is while stuffing their face with some Ben and Jerry’s lamenting over being scorned by infidelity. There is no definitive answer to why men cheat on their significant other.

“If you define infidelity as sex outside of a relationship without your partner’s knowledge or consent” about 50 percent of couples cheat in high school and college”, Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., a sex educator and research fellow at The Kinsey Institute told Men’s Health Magazine. “The infidelity rate drops to about 20 to 25 percent after marriage,” he added.

While we can’t speak for all men, here are just some of the reasons for why men cheat. 

It’s Not Always About Sex

For many men, when their emotional needs aren’t met inside their relationship, they seek that validation elsewhere. Validation is an important human need and if couple’s aren’t communicating properly or expressing themselves in a loving way, it could spur a man to stray. This is by no means an excuse for cheating. It is the responsibility of both parties to be open and honest in their communication. Your partner can’t read your mind when it comes to your emotional needs, and you must tell them or risk being unfulfilled.

Sometimes It IS About Sex

When asked, some men admit that they were unfaithful to their partner because they were looking for more or different types of sex then what they were getting at home. Being in a relationship where sexual appetites and drives are different can be difficult. However, not getting enough in bed is hardly enough of a reason for a scorned partner to shrug off infidelity. Again, it comes down to open and honest communication of your needs and wants between partners.

An Ego Boost

It feels good to be needed and wanted, especially in a sexual capacity. Men often cheat during times of great change or stress, a new baby, sick partner, job loss or change, etc. Times of turbulent change can make anyone feel insecure about themselves. When a man feels insecure, he might look for an ego boost via an affair. Many affairs are fantasies and exist only on the surface. There is little responsibility to the person they are cheating with, physically and emotionally, and a lot less stress than a serious relationship. The escape of it all is enticing during times of high stress.

For Revenge

Being cheated on hurts. If a man is a victim of infidelity, they are more likely to go out and seek someone else based on revenge in order to “even the score”. When we are hurt, we often get angry and wish to make the person who hurt us feel the same pain they inflicted on us. If a relationship has devolved to this point, it might be time to call it quits.

Getting Caught In The Heat Of The Moment

One night stands and work flings happen very often because both parties get caught up in a swirl of sexual tension and emotional confusion. While this type of infidelity is more forgivable than a downright affair, since neither person was seeking to cheat, it just sort of… happened.  When one thing leads to another and another leads to clothes coming off, a serious breach of trust has occurred. One that could take a long time to repair. To prevent a one night stand or accidental indiscretion, it is important for the people that are having mutual feelings for each other to communicate their relationship status and that no shenanigans can happen. Avoid being alone with them, especially in situations that involve alcohol.

A Cheater Can’t Change His Spots

While not all cheaters are serial cheaters, some men are just unfaithful to a fault. These are the ones who cheat whenever and with whomever they can with no regard for the feelings of their partner. If someone can’t be in a relationship without cheating, then they shouldn’t  be in a relationship period.

Cheating hurts your partner both emotionally, mentally, and can harm them physically in terms of spreading disease. While nobody is perfect, everyone is responsible for their own behavior. 

Categories: Relationship Advice